The Blessing of GENTLENESS

Matthew 5:5

April 14, 2002  

 

The use of words, change or evolve with time. For instance, the Greeks viewed the kidneys as the seat of affection, so that one might say, "I love you with all my kidneys." That is laughable to us, but not to that timeframe. Thirty years ago the word "bad" always implied something negative or something wrong. But now the cultural effect upon our language has made "bad" a dubious term. Often bad implies good. Now that is strange to our ears, yet it is part of the evolution of language in our own day.

 

I bring this up because of the term under consideration: meekness or gentleness. Both of these words convey certain ideas that have been colored by our culture. A meek person is often thought of as someone who is mousy or extraordinarily quiet or who keeps his head down when in a crowd. Gentleness sometimes carries the idea of someone who is soft, who has a feminine quality. If we say that a woman is gentle, we might not think anything to be strange, but when we say that a man is gentle, it might raise a suspicion in our thinking about the nature of that man! So our task in this study must be to understand the biblical usage of "gentle" so that we might fully apply this Beatitude to our lives.

 

The Classical Greek understanding of "gentleness" (praos) is "often used for the quiet and friendly composure which does not become embittered or angry at what is unpleasant, whether in the form of people or fate. This is an active attitude and deliberate acceptance, not just a passive submission," according to one linguistic source [TDNT, vol. VI, 645]. In other words, it has nothing to do with softness or a mousy spirit, but with a sense of being under control in the face of difficulties or difficult people. This exercise of self-control, or perhaps better put, selflessness conveys the idea found in the third Beatitude, "Blessed are the gentle, for they shall inherit the earth." It is this same gentleness standing in sharp contrast to the deeds of the flesh that we are told is a fruit of the Holy Spirit's work in the life of the believer, as evidence that a person truly belongs to Christ and not the world (Gal 5:23). It is this same gentleness that Jesus used to describe himself as he called upon those who were weighed down with the burden of their sin, "Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls" (Matt 11:29). Gentleness is listed in the graces that are to clothe the believer as one who has been chosen of God (Col 3:12).

 

In addition to spiritual poverty and mourning over one's sin unto repentance, Jesus tells us that the kingdom citizen will be gentle. Gentleness comes by grace, and buoyantly evidences the saving grace of God in the believer's life. What is the gentleness that Jesus declares will characterize those in His kingdom? How does it affect our lives?

 

I. Is gentleness weakness? Or misconceptions

 

As with "poor in spirit" and "those who mourn," we must begin by clearing the air on what "Blessed are the gentle" does not refer to. One of the adversary's shrewdest tactics is to confuse the teaching of Scripture so that those who read or hear lack the clear understanding to apply it to their lives. And so with this there are ample distortions and misinterpretations of the Word upon which people build their lives. For instance, the medieval tradition of monks has furthered the idea that poverty of spirit, mourning, and meekness cannot be achieved without complete withdrawal from the world. Thus monks retire from real life in order to cultivate the qualities set forth in the Beatitudes. I recall touring a church and monastery when we were in Kiev a number of years ago. As we made our way under the ground where there were graves of deceased monks, we saw a half-door with a drawn curtain over a window. This was a strange place for a door! We were probably 40-50 feet under the ground, winding through these catacombs when we came on the door. The guide told us that a "holy man" lived behind that door, and that he never came out. He was seeking to cultivate these holy qualities in the dark, under the ground, shut out from the real world. Ironically, people were kneeling before this door, lighting candles and placing them in front of the door, and making the sign of the cross before the door. The only quality produced by such devotion is superstition, not "gentleness" or the accompanying graces.

 

Jesus Christ does not tell us to withdraw from civilization in order to have kingdom qualities in our lives. Yet by years of multiplied misinterpretation of Scripture, plenty of misconceptions of "gentleness" have been etched on the mind.

 

1. Not a natural quality

 

In the first place, "gentleness" is not a natural quality. You cannot cultivate a grace. The very nature of a grace is that it comes as a gift of God. It is not natural to the flesh. It cannot be worked up by attending a gentleness conference or by hiding in the ground or by reading a manual on gentleness techniques. Yes, a person might show gentleness from time to time in a natural state, but it will not be the disposition of his life apart from the gift of God's grace. What Jesus is speaking of stands in sharp contrast to the world, for it is a kingdom quality, wrought by the Holy Spirit in the new birth. So when we think of "gentleness" we must not categorize it as the quiet disposition that some people have as part of their personality. This is not a personality trait but a character quality.

 

2. Not inactivity

 

Others would assume that "gentleness" conveys the idea of inactivity. It is someone that tends toward laziness and lethargy. They just don't like to sweat, so they are called gentle. In this same vein, Martyn Lloyd-Jones points out that gentleness does not "mean flabbiness" or "people who are easy-going" [Studies in the Sermon on the Mount, 67]. All of this falls under the category of inactivity. "Gentleness" implies the very opposite; it is not inactivity, but an active pursuit of the self-control evidenced by Jesus Christ.

 

3. Not niceness

 

Another misconception is that "gentleness" means "niceness," as Lloyd-Jones put it [67]. This would be the sort of person that might never raise his voice or might be the negotiator at every conflict or does kind things for other people. While this is certainly admirable (and we'd love to seem more of it), it is not the same as "gentleness."

 

4. Not weakness

 

Most often the word associated with meekness or gentleness is weakness. The picture of a small lamb before the paws of a tiger, harmlessly and even naively strolling about, unaware of danger, is the picture given of weakness. In other words, by this standard, a "gentle" Christian is one that is na�ve or docile, or who does not know how to flee danger or who is so harmless and helpless that you pity his inability to exercise sound judgment.

 

But I would submit to you that "gentle" Christians are not inherently weak. Some of the strongest people in the world are gentle. William Tyndale, the man who gave us the first translation of the Scripture from the Hebrew and Greek into the English vernacular, was an extraordinarily strong man, but was equally gentle. He had strength of character, strength that enabled him to endure untold hardships, strength that caused him to accomplish on the run-hunted like a deer, what most men could not do if given complete freedom. But he exercised gentleness all the while, especially toward those who had proclaimed William Tyndale to be an enemy of England and the Church. His respectful letters to Henry VIII that searched for him and his self-control toward the members of the Roman church that pursued him demonstrate great gentleness. Lloyd-Jones has pointed out, "The meek man is one who may so believe in standing for the truth that he will die for it if necessary. The martyrs were meek, but they were never weak; strong men, yet meek men." The Doctor adds, "Meekness is compatible with great strength" [68]. That give us an idea of what gentleness is not.

 

II. Is gentleness possible? Or the gift of grace

 

I must remind us that the Beatitudes are not goals for human aim, but gifts of God's transforming grace that will characterize those who know Jesus Christ. Should people exercise these qualities? Indeed, all men should demonstrate them, just as they should obey the Law of God. But the fact is, apart from God's grace, none of us will succeed in being marked by the kingdom qualities found in the Beatitudes. So, in answer to the question, "is gentleness possible," I must answer, only by God's grace. That is why we must constantly remind ourselves that Jesus was not setting forth the ideal picture for humanity that would give man a goal to aim for in his pursuit of his own Utopian way of life. He was giving us the marks of the kingdom, evidences of His lordship. And if you are working hard to pursue these qualities without first being born of God into His kingdom by the regenerating work of the Spirit and faith in Jesus Christ, then you will only find frustration with Christianity. You will declare that Christianity does not work, that it is a worthless, unrealistic religion. You will probably leave your pursuit of the Beatitudes in such frustration that you will rebel into great sin against God; all because you sought to embrace the character set forth in the Beatitudes without the grace of God in Christ.

 

Gentleness is possible through the gift of God's grace. Once God has shown his grace in your life, what will gentleness look like in daily life?

 

1. Personal perception

 

Now that we've dealt with what gentleness is not, what did Jesus mean when he said, "Blessed are the gentle, for they shall inherit the earth"? Lloyd-Jones explains, "Meekness is essentially a true view of oneself, expressing itself in attitude and conduct with respect to others. It is therefore two things. It is my attitude towards myself; and it is an expression of that in my relationship to others" [68]. That is what I mean by personal perception. In meekness, you begin to think rightly about yourself, you begin to have a proper evaluation of yourself, particularly with regard to your propensity for sin apart from the grace of God. Does that sound negative to you? I hope that it is helpful; for there is nothing more dangerous than to think that because I'm a Christian I am now immune to great sin in my life. Gentleness gives you eyes to see how desperately dependent you are upon God's constantly sustaining grace in your life. Paul describes the application of being "gentle" or meek in Romans 12:3, "For through the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think more highly of himself than he ought to think; but to think so as to have sound judgment, as God has allotted to each a measure of faith." Where do we get into more quarrels and conflicts in our relationships than in anything else? It is when we begin to get an exaggerated view of ourselves; when we begin to think that we are better than others; when we think that the world is to revolve around our pleasures; and when we think that we are incapable of committing the same sins that others commit.

 

Think about how you sin against others: your spouse, your children, your parents, your co-workers, you fellow students, your relatives, and your fellow church members. It is usually in an area in which you think that you have a particular right to something. If you perceive that someone does not recognize your right to a certain level of attention or recognition or he fails to satisfy some desire in your life, then you get hurt, maybe even angry. You withdraw or lash-out or become bitter or grow sullen and morose. And why does this happen? Because this person has not acknowledged something that you believe you have the right to have. He has failed to make you the center focus of his world. And so your pride begins to claim personal rights. At the offense, pride steps up to the window of your soul and shouts curses and anathemas toward the offender. You might even smile and act nice outwardly, but inwardly, you become a ravenous wolf!

 

Is this unrealistic for us to consider? Is it too much for those who are Christians? Then consider what Paul said to the Philippian believers in light of Jesus Christ.

Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others [this is true gentleness]. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God [shall we say, "His right!"], did not regard equality with God a think to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. Being found in appearance as a man [would you not say that is beneath the dignity and rights of Christ?], He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross (Phil 2:3-8).


This gentle believer is the one who "does not demand anything for himself. He does not make demands for his position, his privileges, his possessions, his status in life," explains Lloyd-Jones [69]. He sees how Jesus Christ denied himself what certainly is his right-equality with God, so that for our sakes he, the all-glorious God, humbled himself in becoming a bond-servant, and finally submitting to the ignominious death of the cross. Have this attitude in yourselves, which was also in Christ Jesus! This is gentleness.

 

How does this attitude or perception of gentleness show up in our lives? My own soul was flayed as I read Martyn Lloyd-Jones' exposition on this verse. I had to often pause, pray, confess, repent, and plead with God as I considered the meaning of gentleness. So I am going to quote Lloyd-Jones at length in one section that I found personally probing.

Then let me go further; the man who is meek is not even sensitive about himself. He is not always watching himself and his own interests. He is not always on the defensive. We all know about this, do we not? Is it not one of the greatest curses in life as a result of the fall-this sensitivity about self? We spend the whole of our lives watching ourselves. But when a man becomes meek he has finished with all that; he no longer worries about himself and what other people say. To be truly meek means we no longer protect ourselves, because we see there is nothing worth defending. So we are not on the defensive, all that is gone. The man who is truly meek never pities himself, he is never sorry for himself. He never talks to himself and says, 'You are having a hard time, how unkind these people are not to understand you'. He never thinks: 'How wonderful I really am, if only other people gave me a chance.' Self-pity! What hours and years we waste in this! But the man who has become meek has finished with all that. To be meek, in other words, means that you have finished with yourself altogether, and you come to see you have no rights or deserts at all. You come to realize that nobody can harm you. John Bunyan puts it perfectly. 'He that is down need fear no fall.' When a man truly sees himself, he knows nobody can say anything about him that is too bad. You need not worry about what men may say or do; you know you deserve all and more. Once again, therefore, I would define meekness like this. The man who is truly meek is the one who is amazed that God and man can think of him as well as they do and treat him as well as they do [69, italics added].


 2. Godly submission

 

"Blessed are the gentle," not only means that we have a right perception of ourselves, but that also leads to a godly submission to the Lord. Thomas Watson pointed out that gentleness in our relationship to God implies "submission to his will; flexibleness to his Word" [The Beatitudes, 105]. In other words, a "gentle" believer not only has come to grips with a sense of his own sinfulness, and his propensity for sin, but rather than wallowing in self-pity over this perception, he submits to the will of God. He gladly bends the heart in obedience to God. He finds the law of God to be a delight, for he sees in it that revelation of godly character that he now can manifest by the grace of God. Rather than trying to bend all of life to satisfy his own sense of personal rights and desires, he yields to the revelation of God in the Word.

 

Gentleness has to do with the way we respond to people and circumstances. That is why it implies submission to the will of God. It has to do with our attitude toward God as well as toward others and ourselves. For often, when the situations of life turn sour, or things do not go as planned, we find ourselves angry with God. We may not voice it, but we find ourselves withdrawing from those things that remind us of the Lord. We become irregular in worship. We find excuses for neglecting Bible study and even Bible reading. We are uninterested in fellowshipping with others because to do so means that we must consider the Lord and His will in our lives. We scarcely go to the place of prayer, and certainly will not bother to join believers in prayer. But such a disposition exposes the keen edge of pride and selfishness that has girded our hearts. It is sin! And it is unlike the gentle, submissive spirit of Jesus Christ who though facing the agony of the cross, bent in submission to the Father's will.

 

Do you remember how Jonah reacted when God brought deliverance to Nineveh, and afterward sent a worm to kill the sulking Jonah's shade? Jonah had his mind made up on what he thought should be God's will toward Nineveh. And the Lord did just the opposite of what Jonah wanted! He was angry. He was so angry and embittered that he could not see the wonderful mercy and grace of God before his eyes. He could not even see that the Lord gave him a shade plant to help shield him from the scorching sirocco wind and pelting rays of the sun. He sulked and complained. When his shade plant was stricken, that was the final straw for Jonah! God asked the question, "Do you have good reason to be angry about the plant?" Defiantly, the prophet replied, "I have good reason to be angry, even to death." Jonah would not bow to the will of God. Did he really have a good reason for his anger, or for his death wish? We shake our heads at Jonah. But when we refuse to bow to God's will, we are no different than Jonah. What he needed was the spirit of gentleness that would bring him to yielding to God in realizing that the amazing thing was that God had shown grace to him. Instead, Jonah, in headstrong fashion, held on to his personal desires above the will of God.

 

My dear brethren, let us not be Jonahs! "Blessed are the gentle," Christ declared. The place of divine blessing is found in that right apprehension of ourselves, and that constant willingness of bending heart and life to the will of God. No complaint; no defensive posture; no claiming our own rights; no self-assertion; no self-pity; no retaliation; instead, we look to Jesus Christ, asking that the same attitude that clothed him might clothe us. We are ready to be taught by the Lord in every situation, every relationship, and also every circumstance that does not go our way. Gentleness implies a teachable spirit. We see not the assertion of our rights and our desires, but in gentleness of spirit, we trust the sovereign Lord to rule wisely and graciously over our lives. By the grace of God abundantly shown to us in Christ Jesus, we will know the blessedness of gentleness.

 

III. Is meekness livable? Or deep satisfaction

 

'Ah, but to live like that means that the world will steamroll over us! We will be crushed and abused and misused constantly!' We must admit that gentleness or meekness or selflessness is not a quality found in the world! Instead, we are told to assert our own rights; to take nothing from anyone; to do whatever it takes to achieve our goals, even if it means trampling over others. Standing diametrically different is the word of Christ: "Blessed are the gentle, for they shall inherit the earth." The reason that we can yield with confidence to the character qualities of kingdom citizens is because of the promise of our King: "for they shall inherit the earth." What does Jesus mean in that promise? It has both a present and future dimension in its answer.

 

1. Christ's promise for the present

 

How do Christians inherit the earth in this present life? I would submit to you that the only people truly satisfied on earth are those who know this character quality of meekness. For they have come to the point of deep satisfaction in what God has provided for them. They are not asserting their own rights or complaining about their circumstances or selfishly grabbing for more in life. They have learned contentment in submission to the will of God. As with Paul, the gentle confess, "Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me" (Phil 4:11-13).

 

Nothing is more contrary to the dog-eat-dog, grab-all-you-can, greedy spirit of the world! That is why gentleness is not found naturally or as part of the process of worldly citizenship, but found only as a gift of grace. For in gentleness we discover the richness of satisfaction and contentment with living in the will of God. So whether we are living in a favellas in Rio or a penthouse on 5th Avenue, we have learned that we have no right to claim anything for ourselves, so that life does not consist in what we have or how much we can acquire, but in the joy of submission to the will of God through faith in Christ.

 

2. Christ's promise for the future

 

There is a future culmination to this promise, "for they shall inherit the earth." It is a reminder that however long we are in this life, and whatever circumstances good or bad that we face, it is not over for the gentle-the best is yet to come. The whole creation is "groaning and travailing until now" in anticipation of that day, when sin and sorrow have no more place in our lives, and righteousness and holiness fills the earth (Rom 8:18-25; I Cor 15:23-28). That is our inheritance in Jesus Christ, forever and ever!

 

Conclusion

 

Knowing that gentleness is a gift of grace, it is also a grace to grow and develop as with all the graces. So how shall we grow in gentleness? Thomas Watson identifies two things: (1) "Often look upon the meekness of Christ" (2) "pray earnestly that God will meeken your spirit," or as he quaintly puts it, "Sue to him for this grace of meekness" [120].

 

Look to Christ's gentleness, and ask Him to put this same gentleness in your life. Do you know something of the grace of gentleness? Then the promise of Christ is yours.

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