South Woods Baptist Church

The Relationship that Counts

Matthew 12:43-50

September 21, 2003

 

One of the curious features of driving in Europe is the "roundabout." We are accustomed to reaching an intersection with a traffic light but the roundabouts are circular roadways that join together three, four, or five different roads. So as you approach a roundabout you must decide which way you will take. At times, some roads will eventually lead to the same place but by circuitous routes. On several occasions, I must admit, I circled the roundabouts a couple of times before making up my mind! There were so many choices of roads, so many different ways to go to the same places that I just could not make up my mind! 

 

The Christian life is different. There are no roundabouts on the pathway of the Christian life. There are no multiple choices of the spiritual road on which we will travel. We are either on the road to the Celestial City or the road to the City of Destruction. There are two roads, two ways, and no more.

The teaching of Jesus Christ makes this plain. One clearly, reiterated theme emerges from this chapter - there are only two ways to live. No middle ground for non-committal is given; no roundabouts with multiple selections of different ways to God. One is either for Christ or against Him, gathering with Him or scattering away from Him. One is either a good tree with good fruit or a bad tree with bad fruit, a good man bringing forth good or an evil man bringing forth evil.

 

But the Pharisees had difficulty accepting this. They considered themselves good and righteous, yet were against Christ, and seeking by words and deeds to turn others away from Him. Their request for an authenticating sign was mere pretense. At heart, they were outwardly religious but inwardly corrupt. Yet they did not comprehend this fact.

 

Like the Pharisees, one of the greatest dangers facing any of us is that of substituting moral reformation for genuine relationship to Christ. Perhaps no one exemplified this more than Martin Luther. As a man fearful of the Almighty, he labored to keep the outside of the cup clean. Through much fasting, praying, freezing himself on monastery floors, regular confession and repentance, Luther sought to reform his ways and put himself in right standing with God. Outwardly, he excelled all of his companions, so much so that he quipped, "If any monk ever got to heaven by monkery, then I should have made it. All my monastery companions who knew me can testify to that" [Stephen Nichols, Martin Luther: A Guided Tour of His Life and Thought, 29]. But Luther discovered, as have all that have known the saving grace of God, only by a faith relationship to Christ can we have a right standing with God. But what does this relationship look like? How does it differ from moral reformation?

 

I. Moral reformation

 

Jesus uses parabolic language to set forth this teaching on the futility of moral reformation. While we might learn something of demons, this passage is not a study in demonology. It does tell us of the restlessness of the demonic, unsatisfied until it spoils those made in God's image. And it also reminds us that demons are opportunists, finding an "unoccupied" life and seizing control. We are also to conclude that demons are not of equal wickedness - some are more wicked than others. But having made these few observations, let us see the point that Christ was making. The nature of parables drives home a particular lesson or point in picturesque language or stories (we'll see more of this in chapter 13). Our Lord is explaining the danger of mere moral reformation.

 

1. A man-pleasing substitute

 

The unclean spirit had gone out of the man. "Now when the unclean spirit goes out of a man, it passes through waterless places seeking rest, and does not find it." We can suppose that either by God's merciful intervention as the man sought to tame an evil habit or by the direct expulsion by Christ, the demon had left the man. He felt the relief of the tormenting spirit having gone and so plunged into further reformation in his moral life without thought of relationship to God. Jewish literature often spoke of demons living in desert places so the "waterless places" would be familiar language. But demons are not satisfied with deserts, even though they make life a spiritual wasteland when they afflict it. Demons want to rule. So we find the demon on a return trip to the man he had recently left. What would he find upon returning? "Then it says, 'I will return to my house from which I came'; and when it comes, it finds it unoccupied, swept, and put in order."

 

The description of the life, pictured as a house, explains moral reformation. "Unoccupied" implies that the man, though vacant of the former demonic occupant, had not sought the rule of the Lord over his life. He had cleaned up his life; gotten rid of some disgusting practices but he had not come to terms with his own need for Christ. And so this life was "unoccupied" in terms of the rule of his life. The human heart is created to be ruled, and someone will rule it. Either we submit to Christ's rule by faith or we naturally yield to the rule of evil. The problem of rule, though, goes back to our sinful nature. We very naturally want to be ruled by evil, as Benjamin Keach in the 17^th century explained, "Wicked men had rather be under the tyrannical governing of the devil, than to be ruled and governed by Jesus Christ" [Exposition of the Parables, 767].

 

That is the nature of our hearts apart from the intervention of God's grace. As Paul explains about the natural man, "For even though they knew God, they did not honor Him as God or give thanks, but they became futile in their speculations, and their foolish heart was darkened" (Rom 1:21). Even knowing God to be God does not arrest the wicked bent of man's nature. He chooses the rule of evil.

 

Who occupies your life? The language of occupation or indwelling is used to describe a Christian. "Christ in you" is called "the hope of glory" (Col 1:27). Paul questioned the Corinthians, asking, "Or do you not recognize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?" (II Cor 13:5) In a passage that used the indwelling Spirit and the indwelling Christ synonymously, Paul writes to the Romans, "However, you are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God dwells in you. But if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ [that is, indwelling him], he does not belong to Him." He continues, "If Christ is in you, though the body is dead because of sin, yet the spirit is alive because of righteousness. But if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you" (Rom 8:9-11). So I ask you again, who occupies your life?    Not only was the man "unoccupied," but also the demon finds him "swept, and put in order." In other words, he finds the man morally reformed. He had cleaned up his life, relieved himself of some bad habits, and turned over a new moral leaf in life. Many a person has sought to satisfy the law's demands by making personal resolutions or giving up a sinful habit. The drunkard has stopped his drinking, the adulterer has ceased his philandering, and the thief has restrained his stealing. He's morally reformed, nicer to be around. But he is still lost before God and ruled by the deceitfulness of his own evil nature. It may be that God's law has affected him - so that his conscience has been smitten, so he seeks to restrain the impulses of sin. He congratulates himself on stopping a vice here and there. He has "put in order" his life. He is a moral man. He has stopped his partying and foul language. It is interesting that we get our word cosmetics from this Greek word. He may have put things in order but it is only a covering up of the real person. He thinks that he has his life figured out. He makes his plans, and even includes his religious life by setting it according to his own design. In a sobering way, Keach adds, "Satan may lose some ground in the sinner's hearts, he may seem to be gone out of them, and they may become sober and civilized, and yet may be in the gall of bitterness, and their hearts not withstanding may still be Satan's habitation" [767].

 

There are only two ways to live - Christ's way which is the way of holiness, obedience, hating sin, dying to self, and faithfulness unto death, or one's own way which is deceitful, centered upon self, and bent on following one's own desires. Satan's way is the path of compromise with sin, religion without relationship, self-centeredness, pride, and throwing off the yoke of Christ. Which of these two ways is the way of your life?

 

2. A malicious result

 

The result of mere moral reformation is alarming. "Then it goes and takes along with it seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there; and the last state of that man becomes worse than the first. That is the way it will also be with this evil generation." When man tries to reform himself apart from the regenerating work of God's Spirit, he opens the door for plunging deeper into sin and becoming more hardened to the gospel. The word "live there" is better, permanently settled down. In other words, because of the deceitfulness of a self-dependent, moral reformation, a man can end up farther from God than ever.

 

We lack the power to rule our own lusts, to control our own passions, and to hold check our sin. We might make external reforms while losing the inner battle. Like ancient Rome, we might conquer our outlying foes while all the time we disintegrate from within.

 

Jesus warned, "That is the way it will also be with this evil generation." He had already described this generation as an "evil and adulterous generation" that craves for signs but has no heart for repentance and faith in Christ. Now Christ looks ahead. What would eventually happen with "this evil generation" that Christ addressed? As we reflect back on Israel's past, we recall their problem with idolatry. Their adopting the ways of the nations around them with their idolatrous practices and all the sins associated with it, ultimately led to their downfall and exile into Assyria and Babylon. They learned some lessons from this and reformed this particular part of their lives. So we look at the generation Christ addressed and outward idolatry was not a problem. There were no shrines to Baal or other Canaanite deities. They had reformed outwardly but they failed inwardly. They substituted moral reformation for humble relationships to God through Christ. Consequently, so common among Jews today is not the heart panting after God but skepticism, agnosticism, and even atheism. They swept the house clean of idols but failed to bow the knee to Christ as Lord, and far worse devils have filled the void.

 

This happened with Judaism long ago and continues today, but can it happen with us as well? We can be duped by moral reform just like the Pharisees. It happens not only in liberal churches but even in evangelical churches. To paraphrase John Owen, we can sometimes think that we have foiled sin in our lives, when really we have only raised a cloud of dust by moral reform so that we do not see it at the root of our lives. And so we control our natural affections of fear, sorrow for the effects of sin, and anguish over the pains of the law, but all the while it makes us believe that sin is conquered in our lives when it is not [Works of John Owen, vol. VI, 20].

How does this happen that men substitute moral reformation for the transforming reality of relationship to God through Christ and His righteousness? I would point out three dangers.

 

(1) There is an ignorance of one's own sinful condition. We do not know our hearts if we think that a bit of moral reformation will satisfy the justice of God! When we are like the Laodiceans that thought all was well, "I am rich, and have become wealthy, and have need of nothing," and so Christ had to warn, "and you do not know that you are wretched and miserable and poor and blind and naked," we are at the precipice of eternal danger (Rev 3:17). Sin blinds us in ignorance of our own sinful condition.

 

(2) There is also the problem of being unable to distinguish the difference between moral reformation and regeneration. So often in gospel conversations, I've encountered people that think that their moral reforms make them Christian. But unless we become a new creature in Christ, unless we are brought out of darkness to light, and death to life by the work of the Holy Spirit, we have no right standing with God. Moral reformation may clean up some bad habits but regeneration stirs a person to pursue holiness. That is the distinction.

 

(3) Moral reformation can blind one's eyes into thinking that his own righteousness is all that is needed before God. Hear the word of God, "There is none righteous, not even one" (Rom 3:10). The only righteousness that God accepts is that demonstrated by His Son, "whom God displayed publicly as a propitiation in His blood through faith" (Rom 3:25). For this reason, "Christ is the end of the law for righteousness to everyone who believes" (Rom 10:4) [I was helped by Keach's comments, 768].

 

So, which way are you traveling? God's way of recognizing your own sinfulness and casting yourself upon Christ and His righteousness alone, or the way of moral reformation in which you depend upon what you have done to satisfy the demands of God's eternal law?

 

II. Transforming relationship

 

All of us are affected by relationships. There are certain people in our lives that have impacted us. It may be a parent or a teacher or a neighbor or a classmate that has had more influence upon you at some point than anyone else. Sometime that is good influence; other times it is not. But because of the bond of relationship, you have made decisions differently, talked differently, and lived your life in a different way. This is a necessary part of life. We are a result of the relationships that have interwoven the course of our lives. Yet as wonderful or in some cases, dreadful, as these relationships may be, they can never substitute for the eternal relationship with Christ.

 

It is interesting that Jesus used an interruption to declare the truth and necessity of eternal relationship with Him. "While He was still speaking to the crowds, behold, His mother and brothers were standing outside, seeking to speak to Him." Evidently, because of Christ being in a crowded room His relatives could not enter, and He may not have even been aware that they were part of the crowd outside the house. "Someone said to Him, "Behold, Your mother and Your brothers are standing outside seeking to speak to You"." Having been engaged in public teaching and preaching for over thirty years, I must say that interruptions of this sort are not pleasant. The intensity of concentration on the message preached is sometime affected by interruptions. I remember one night when there seemed to be a stream of people getting up and going out. I stopped right in the middle of my sermon and asked, "Where is everyone going?" I definitely lost something of my intensity by the interruptions. But we can learn something wonderful from our Lord. He turned the interruption into truth time. Even though He was right in the middle of speaking, this well-meaning fellow thought it to be his duty to interrupt Christ. Upon doing so, Jesus turned the obvious distraction into one of the most enlightening questions and answers we find in Scripture.

 

1. Question

 

"But Jesus answered the one who was telling Him and said, "Who is My mother and who are My brothers?"" I believe the fellow was somewhat on the spot! He had interrupted Christ by announcing the arrival of His mother and brothers but Jesus turns the whole scene around to help him understand a greater issue. This man was focused on the temporal relationships, Christ's mother and half-brothers (sons of Mary and Joseph that later became followers of Christ). In that culture, the family relationships were most important. A person would find his whole world directed by the intimate relations with family. But the question of Jesus Christ was meant to point this man beyond the temporal relations to those that are eternal. It is not that the temporal was unimportant to Him since we later find while on the cross, Jesus entrusting His mother's care to the Apostle John (John 19:25-27). Instead, there are relationships that span the chasm of death into eternity. And there is one relationship above all others that we must see as preeminent - our relationship to the Eternal God through Christ.

 

Have you been so busily involved in the important relationships of your life that you have neglected the one relationship that matters most? It was this very issue that arrested my attention as a fifteen-year old. After hearing some other young people testify of their relationship to Jesus Christ, I realized that while I was very involved in church and had many friends, I lacked the one relationship that matters most.

 

2. Declaration

 

Notice how Jesus answers His own question for the stunned man. "And stretching out His hand toward His disciples [literally, upon His disciples], He said, "Behold My mother and My brothers!"" Now we know that these disciples or followers of Christ were not related by blood. But Jesus insists that there is something much deeper - an eternal relationship wrought by the work of God's Spirit. His declaration is exclusive. He stretched His hand upon a particular group, not the whole crowd. He never taught that all men are God's children, as is so popular today. The gospel Christ proclaimed is narrow. Few are those that enter the small gate and onto the narrow way of life (Matt 7:13-14). Yet for those that enter the narrow way of the cross, the writer of Hebrews tells us, "He is not ashamed to call them brethren" (Heb 2:11). This is why the sweetness of assurance is found in the Holy Spirit testifying inwardly that we are children of God - the testimony of exclusive family relationship to God through Christ (Rom 8:16).

 

This declaration is also affectionate. Christ uses the intimacy of family terms, "Behold My mother and My brothers!" It reminds us of the intense and steadfast love with which He loves us. We may get miffed with one another as family from time to time, but the reality is that we love each other through thick and thin. Even when we have failed Him, Christ's family love is ever intense and faithful, never fickle or diminished by our performance. That is why Paul prayed for the Ephesians that they "may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God" (Eph 3:18-19). Find satisfaction in that family love!

 

3. Explanation

 

To who does this relationship belong? "For whoever does the will of My Father who is in heaven, he is My brother and sister and mother." The "whoever" offers an invitation to each one of us that would come to God through Christ. But Christ qualifies His invitation. It belongs to "whoever does the will of My Father who is in heaven." Now the question that we must ask is whether this implies a works-oriented salvation? Some have taken this passage and insisted that if we will just do a good job of following God's commands then we will hopefully be Christians. But that puts us right back at the problem we considered earlier in verses 43-45, trying to do moral reformation without a work of grace in the heart.

 

To begin with, God's will is for us to put our trust in Christ. "For this is the will of My Father, that everyone who beholds the Son and believes in Him will have eternal life, and I Myself will raise him up on the last day" (John 6:40). But the intent of this explanation is to help us understand what someone looks like after he has entered into family relationship with Christ. He does the will of the Father. In contrast to the one that follows the letter of the law in an attempt at moral reformation, the believer pursues the spirit of the law as a reflection of the character of His Lord. The will of the Father becomes his passion! In light of this, what is a Christian? He is one in whom Christ dwells and consequently is passionate about doing the will of the Heavenly Father. He is saved unto good works that God ordained for him (Eph 2:10). For this one Christ gives assurance, "he is My brother and sister and mother."

 

Conclusion

 

Have you been trying to solve your spiritual condition by moral reformation? That will only lead to futility, and hardness toward the necessity of God's grace. Does Christ dwell in you as Lord? Do you passionately desire to do the will of the Father? Then my friend, rejoice; Christ calls you one of the family! That's the relationship that counts.